Something Has To Change

Dear Nony,

You don't know me. We live fairly close, but we've never met. I found you this past summer through a bundle sale on a cleaning site (I think it was through Clean Mama) and what you had to say really resonated with me. Recently I started reading your blog "backwards", although to me it seems I'm reading it forwards. A book is usually best enjoyed when read from beginning to end, so when reading a blog, shouldn't one naturally start at the first post? Or is this just my peculiar brand of "not normal"?

You may not know me, but that doesn't mean you haven't helped me in the short time I've known you.

To anyone else reading, have you met Nony yet? You should definitely check her out at A Slob Comes Clean. Roam around, click a few links, and then go here if you want to read through her blog the way she recommends.

The Land of Denial

I'm not a slob. My kitchen is not a mess. I can easily welcome guests in at any time. I never forget appointments. I know exactly where the extra WiFi adapter for my Tivo box is, and where all of my instruction manuals are, and I certainly don't have an ant problem in my house. And no matter how many times I keep repeating these lies, they still never become truths. Because all of that was disproven this past week.

I know where everything is

My husband and I decided it was time to upgrade our internet and add cable TV for the football season. First, this meant I needed to clear a space on the downstairs entertainment center for the new router and modem. The internet "stuff" used to reside in the computer room. When we had a computer room. It's now the junk room, and I wanted to put the internet stuff in the living room this time. Then, I realized I needed to dust the entertainment center and clean up some kitty messes. "No problem, the cable guys won't be here for three more days." Well, I got half the center cleaned (the half where they'd be working) and got the kitty messes cleaned up...but forgot to clean the upstairs TV stand. The good news was, all the work was done by guys. I'm sure they never even noticed the dust on the other half of the entertainment center or the one upstairs. I even figured out how to take that downstairs Tivo box apart because the kitty "mess" made it inside the casing. (Note: I am a former computer programmer who is very familiar with taking computer and computer-like things apart. Otherwise I never would have tried this.) So, no big deal, right? Wrong!

The issues began when it came time to connect the TiVo boxes to the internet. No problem with the one downstairs, we just used an internet cable to plug it directly into the router. But the one upstairs didn't want to cooperate using the adapters we had been using for 2 or 3 years. So, the guys (yes there were THREE guys setting up my cable TV and internet) kept working on the rest of the setup while I searched my junk room, I mean office/computer room, for the old TiVo wireless adapter that I KNOW I kept. Never found it. We did finally get the internet to work on all the machines using the adapters that the installation guys swore would not work (go me!), but for three days I agonized over where in this whole stinking house could I have put that wireless adapter? I still have no idea.

So, that blows out the whole "I know where everything is" lie from above.

I never forget appointments

In addition to the cable installation that should have lasted three hours but instead spread over four days, one of my cats had a couple of seizures. I called our vet Thursday morning to set up an appointment for that evening, but was so distracted by the cable installation that day, I completely forgot her appointment until 40 minutes AFTER we were supposed to be there. So much for not forgetting appointments. (I did get her in earlier this week, but getting her carrier out of the foyer closet revealed...oops, I'm getting ahead of myself.)

And inviting guests over at a moment's notice? Well...

Whenever we have guests over, our favorite place to eat dinner, play tabletop games, and generally just sit and chat is our dining room. Let's take a look, shall we?

Yes, that's two coats I found that had fallen on top of the cat carrier (the hanger broke). (Yes, I have so many coats I've started hanging two coats on one hanger.) I could just get a couple more coat-quality hangers and put them back into the closet, but there's no room as is. Plus, I'm out of coat-quality hangers, so I need to buy a couple more. What's that? Get rid of coats I don't wear instead? Blasphemy!

And then there's the kitchen (um, feel free to skip this section, Nony, since it discusses ants in the sink. And on the counter.)

Friday afternoon, after all the problems with getting internet and cable TV installed, I was about to walk out the door for our weekly visit with G'Ma and G'Pa (my parents, who live about a 30 minute drive away), I discovered ants. All over the kitchen counter and in my sink. I was so fed up with the week, I was almost in tears of frustration. All weekend long, my husband and I cleaned, decluttered, and cleaned again in an attempt to remove the scent trails and dissuade the stupid ants from returning, to no avail. Our bug guy come out this afternoon to lay bait down for them. Of course, he had to put the bait where the ants already were...on the edge of the counter, along the sides of the sink, right at the spot where I have to lean when I wash dishes, and inside the sink itself. I have, effectively, lost the use of that entire counter and the sink.

But there is good news

A few months ago, when I ordered that bundle through Clean Mama that I mentioned earlier, I received your book "28 Days to Hope For Your Home". I don't know why, but it was the first book I read in that bundle. I read it, laughed along with your humor (yes, you are humerous! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!) and nodded sagely when I read the last line. Because yes, I read it through in one or two sittings, and hadn't actually done anything. I recognized that cleaning my dishes every night is a good idea. I too am a FlyLady follower. Well, I read her emails. Well, I receive her emails...okay, I need to change my email subscription to the Lite version because as it is I'm just shuffling her emails off to a folder where they languish in unread purgatory. And I have tried to do the Shiny Sink thing in the past, but even when DH helps it just doesn't happen.

Well not this time! Over the Labor Day weekend, I worked hard at getting all the dishes washed, dried, and put away in my efforts to clean off that stupid countertop. I pulled out the Soft Scrub and scrubbed, moved appliances, and scrubbed some more. And then the directive came: "Don't clean! The ants need to take the bait back to their nest, and if you clean, they won't be able to find the bait." Of course, if I clean, there won't BE any bait, which is even more of a problem. But that's beside the point.

The point is, even with the cleaning restriction, all that work this weekend STILL paid off.

Even though I don't have access to the sink at this moment, I have done the best I can to make sure everything is as clean as it can be, under the circumstances. And this time, THIS TIME, I'm going to do better. I'm going to build those habits. I'm going to work on one non-negotiable task at a time. I'm going to drain my ocean. Something has to change. It HAS to. And you've been there, sort of recently. You've learned, and shared, and through your brutal honesty I can see hope for my home as well. I have a long road ahead of me, but I see how far you've come, and when I compare where I am to where you are now, I see hope. Hope that since you've changed, I can too.

Dear Nony,

My name is Bridget. And I'm a slob.