My First Non-Negotiables

Dear Nony,

So, you remember those ants in my kitchen, right? While I was cleaning them up, I swore to finally, for real this time, dedicate to keeping the sink clean, running the dishwasher when it's full or half-full, and BEFORE I have a full load of dirty dishes waiting for the dishwasher to be cleared out again, and to do the hand-washing at least once a week. I know myself, I'm not going to wash dishes with hot soapy water every night, but once or twice a week seems reasonable. In other words, it sounds like it's time for me to declare my beginning Non-Negotiables.

My First Non-Negotiable

It's actually quite simple. Every time I put a dish in the sink, I have to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher (if the dishwasher is empty/dirty) or on the counter above the dishwasher (if the dishwasher is clean).

That's it. My biggest obstacle in past attempts is to just stash all the dirty dishes in the sink, maybe run some water into them so they can soak, and leave them their to be dealt with in the evening. But by the time the evening rolls around, I usually spend an hour putting both boys to bed, and DH and I are just too tired to deal with the dishes. DH has even (in past attempts to "get cleaned up and organized") claimed responsibility for putting all dishes in the dishwasher every night, but he has full and busy days too. A sink full of dirty dishes doesn't take very long to deal with, but when the brain is tired, even the knowledge that it will just take 5 minutes doesn't mean we'll actually do it.

The beautiful thing is, if the sink is perpetually empty, I'll be able to run a sink-full of hot soapy water to wash the milk/formula bottles and sippy cups that my boys use, whenever I feel like it instead of about five days after it really should have been done. When there are dirty dishes in the sink that I have to deal with FIRST, the bottles and sippies don't get washed for days...weeks...not quite months, but it sometimes feels like it.

Keeping the dishes out of the sink, I think, is a small enough goal that if the rest of it doesn't happen easily at first, at least I'll have an empty sink to keep me motivated each day.

The dishes I need to clean because I've been afraid to go near my ant-infested sink

The dishes in that picture above? Took all of five minutes to rinse and place in the dishwasher. The bottles, sippies, and other baby supplies are still waiting to be washed, but I'll be able to get them done quickly this weekend.

My Second Non-Negotiable

I know: FlyBabies, Messies, SHE's and Slobs (yes, I've read the same sources you have) should only add one habit at a time. The problem with that is, I'm desperate. I absolutely cannot have a repeat of the ants, and with a toddler running underfoot and a baby about to learn how to crawl, and food already stuck to the wood floors that I've left for so long it's actually starting to mold just a little bit, I HAVE to do something more than just commit to dishes. So, I'm taking a page from your book (literally, from your book) and adding this as my second non-negotiable: As often as I can, do a quick sweep of the wood floors in the foyer and kitchen. Breakfast nook is negotiable, but the foyer and kitchen are not. And usually by the time I've swept the foyer and kitchen, the breakfast nook is just a couple of quick swipes with the broom and it's done too. As I discovered yesterday, it doesn't even take that long when I just did it the day before, just a minute or two. My morning toast takes longer to cook!

This has to work

It just HAS to. While reading through your blog, your entry Panic really struck a chord in me. I'm probably reading my own struggle into your voice, but this, this right here:

What does this mean? In the past, this would have been a sign of my losing focus and the downhill slide would start. It can’t mean that this time. I am making a true effort and I’m just going to get right back onto the right track. One small failure can’t mean overall failure.

This. Right here. I don't know if you wrote this with a determined voice, or with a panicked "I'm about to lose it, I'm hanging onto my sanity by a fingernail" voice. When I read this entry a couple of months ago, I read it with the determined, "nothing is going to get in my way" tone. But when I read this entry three days ago? My mental voice put a panicked, desperate, "please God, let this time be different" spin on it. Because this time has to be different for me too. I am so sick and tired of living like this. Not knowing where half of my stuff is. Not able to just enjoy having guests over at any time because I have to spend three hours balancing toddler/baby/cleaning/stash-and-dashing in the lead-up to their arrival. I can't do this anymore. It has to be different.

One small failure can't mean overall failure.

P.S. It only seems appropriate that now that I've sworn to start sweeping on a mostly-mostly-daily basis, today is the day my toddler decides to throw his cheerios all. Over. The floor.

To anyone else reading, have you met Nony yet? You should definitely check her out at A Slob Comes Clean. Roam around, click a few links, and then go here if you want to read through her blog the way she recommends.