Dear Nony,
I'll be honest. I haven't been checking your most recent postings lately. I've been reading through your Year One in E-Book Form, and listening to your podcasts while getting my daily step count, but new stuff? It's just going to have to wait until I get caught up!
Except for your post the other day. You know, the one about tackling an overwhelming task? (Actual title: Working Through The Feeling of Being Overwhelmed)
I even commented on the Facebook post about it (and you liked my comment! Squee!!!!). Here's a little more background about WHY I was looking at your Facebook page, and why your "Overwhelmed" blog post was so timely.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Four Year Anniversary
Today. Four years ago, today.
Four years ago, on March 2nd, I lost my first child.
Not many people know I am actually a mother to three children. Honestly, it's not something I think of on a regular basis myself. But four years ago, on March 2, 2012, my family gathered at the hospital, where I underwent a D&C. I had suffered from a missed miscarriage and lost my first child at ten weeks pregnant.
This isn't something I try and hide. One thing I discovered at the time was just how common miscarriages are. It helped tremendously to talk with so many people who had gone through the same thing, or knew family members who had. But at the same time, this was such an intensely private and personal experience that it's difficult to discuss in a public forum. I often feel the need to acknowledge that this happened, and yet...
I have always felt my lost child was a girl. No proof. Just a feeling.
Today. Today I look back at the last four years, and what it has brought me. Part of the healing process for me was to become pregnant with my firstborn son. It's impossible for me to imagine how different my life would have been if my first pregnancy had not ended so suddenly. Would my living room be filled with fairy princesses instead of dump trucks? Would I have a slightly older version of my son, or someone completely different? Would my second born have been the same as he is now, or would something else have happened that kept me from having more children? Would "he" have also been a "she", and I would now be wondering how on earth to handle the male child, instead of completely at a loss when faced with female littles?
The possibilities are endless, but at the same time not really worth dwelling on. Life happened, and while I absolutely would not trade either of my sons for anything in the world, it's still worth it to stop and reflect. Reflect on that day four years ago.
When one journey ended, and my current journey was just beginning.
Four years ago, on March 2nd, I lost my first child.
Not many people know I am actually a mother to three children. Honestly, it's not something I think of on a regular basis myself. But four years ago, on March 2, 2012, my family gathered at the hospital, where I underwent a D&C. I had suffered from a missed miscarriage and lost my first child at ten weeks pregnant.
This isn't something I try and hide. One thing I discovered at the time was just how common miscarriages are. It helped tremendously to talk with so many people who had gone through the same thing, or knew family members who had. But at the same time, this was such an intensely private and personal experience that it's difficult to discuss in a public forum. I often feel the need to acknowledge that this happened, and yet...
I have always felt my lost child was a girl. No proof. Just a feeling.
Today. Today I look back at the last four years, and what it has brought me. Part of the healing process for me was to become pregnant with my firstborn son. It's impossible for me to imagine how different my life would have been if my first pregnancy had not ended so suddenly. Would my living room be filled with fairy princesses instead of dump trucks? Would I have a slightly older version of my son, or someone completely different? Would my second born have been the same as he is now, or would something else have happened that kept me from having more children? Would "he" have also been a "she", and I would now be wondering how on earth to handle the male child, instead of completely at a loss when faced with female littles?
The possibilities are endless, but at the same time not really worth dwelling on. Life happened, and while I absolutely would not trade either of my sons for anything in the world, it's still worth it to stop and reflect. Reflect on that day four years ago.
When one journey ended, and my current journey was just beginning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)